A Life Well Lived

It has been 10 years since the accident that took my Father-in-law's life.  It is hard to grasp the thought of 10 years.  While 10 years seems like a long time ago, I can still recall every moment from the entire day of July 25th, 2002.

The body of this post is a re-post from this day last year.  Bferg wrote a Top Ten List honoring his dad & on this day I want to focus on the good of Rick & not the pain of the loss.

In honor of Father's Day- 10 Things my Dad Taught Me:

This is not an exhaustive list, nor is it a ranked list.  Just a few things I have been thinking about over the past few days.  My Dad was a great man, great husband, and great father. 

Invest in your family. 

We had a fairly comfortable yet not luxurious life. My parents, (like my Grandparents) did sacrifice to own a (used) boat and at one point a (used) pop-up camper. And today we all have 1,000 memories as a result.  My personal favorite memory: The maiden voyage of our Bayliner Capri. We thought it was pretty fancy because it had cup holders AND a tape deck. I will never forget listening to a TAPE of 70's hits while cruising the muddy water of Sloan's Lake in Denver. Dad had a huge smile on his face. We were all together. I still get emotional when I hear Boston- More Than a Feelin'.

Earn every penny of your paycheck. No matter what you do.

The story goes like this: the first day any of us stated our first job Dad would say "I am going to tell you what my Dad told me when I started my first job: if you run out of things to do pick up the broom and start sweeping the floor.”

A great fisherman only needs 4 lures: 1. Orig. Wiggle Wart 2. Black Plastic Worm 3. Pig-n-Jig 4. White curly tail grub. 

A REALLY great fisherman can convince his wife otherwise and have a full tackle box!  Guys: if you don't have all 4 better get 'em. If you don't know what any of this means please submit your man card!

Never stop learning and growing. 

When he was around 40ish Dad- a Southern Baptist pastor from a farm in Missouri started to read about (and the writings of) Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. This was just so far from his own life experiences. But he let it change him (in more ways than space allows me on FB). I think it even changed our family and our church.  There are about 100 other examples of this from Dad's life. Again, just not enough space. But if you listen to his preaching- especially later on you see how different he was from when we moved to CO in 1991. Ironically, Dad hated change...it wasn't natural for him. But somehow he learned to embrace it, to work at it and to let what he was learning in his mind actually impact who he was and what he did. In a lot of ways he was still old school, don't get me wrong. But he TRIED not to stay stagnant.

Never stop affirming your kids. 

Every year on my birthday there was a card from Mom and Dad waiting on me when I came downstairs. Mom and Dad BOTH always took the time to write more than just "Happy Birthday Love Dad." And Dad always wrote in it himself (didn't delegate it to Mom). It was thoughtful, positive, and loving.  I am 32 now and STILL miss that card and those words from Dad as much as I miss anything about him. Fathers: affirm your kids.

Never own a pet raccoon. 

It's a long story but let's just say it ended badly for Dad. Ended VERY badly for the raccoon.

The best thing you can do for your kids of love their mother. 

Never once in my life did I question my Mom and Dad's relationship.  Kids have so many fears and stresses.   Mom and Dad's relationship should never be a source of fear or stress for a child and it never was at my house.  27% of children live apart from their Fathers. 1 in 4 Father's live apart from some or all of their children. The thought of that never crossed my mind once as a child.

Heck yes you can wear a denim shirt with blue jeans!

Rachel tells me that denim on denim is acceptable these days. But it wasn't circa 1999 and the night Dad came downstairs rocking his denim shirt, braided leather belt, and denim jeans. All four of us just pointed back upstairs while Dad turned around and made the walk of shame. "What?? It matches doesn't it."  Ferguson Family secret: Mom picked out EVERYTHING Dad wore. The man had many gifts...picking out a pair of pants and shirt that that worked together wasn't one of them. The really crazy thing is about 80% of this closet was either Khaki or Blue...so, he had about a 40% chance of success if he walked in with the lights off and picked any shirt/pant combo. The harder he tried the worse it was...

Don't be soft. 

I saw Dad make difficult decisions and take responsibility for them. I saw him take huge risks and lead his family to new and scary places. I saw him do the hard things and the dirty work. I saw him go to work and preach with his thumb tied on with stitches, a huge hole in his lip and blood on his shirt, sitting on a stool after foot surgery. The man wasn't soft.

I never saw him: wear skinny jeans, play the victim, run from responsibility, complain, take a short cut, or call in sick. 

We are raising the softest generation of men ever right now. Little boys who never grow up to lead and take responsibility. We need some men who are not soft.

Be the same...All the time. I heard Dad preach 50s weeks a year, lived with him, and worked for him...I never remember thinking "hey, that doesn't line up." Dad had integrity. I can only hope to have the same level of personal integrity.

God is faithful.  He was faithful in 2002 & He has been faithful everyday since! 

"We will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

Psalm 27:13

Rachel